So it begins…

Even though I like my job okay, I know I can do better. For one, I really got screwed in terms of salary when I started a couple of years ago because I was fresh out of grad school. Now that I have the bullshit “real world” experience and learned more than I can recount, I am definitely getting fucked over. So that is a big motivator for me to get my ass in gear and find a job that pays me closer to what someone in my position should be making. Plus, it is a small company, which is nice to start out in, but not somewhere to end up. The president is retiring in the near future, so the fate of the company is up in the air. I find I need more stability in my job in order to stay somewhere long term and feel comfortable.

However, there are a few things I am going to miss if my job hunt results in a successful transition. I do like most of the people I work with, my commute is not too bad, and I like having a window office. So if I am able to find a place that offers me those things and better pay, then I am out of here faster than that damn roadrunner. There will be a cloud of dust from my tracks that spell out, “C-ya.” (Beep! Beep!)

I have already gotten a call back from one potential employer. This company is very large, reputable, and nearby to where I live. Plus, they are hiring for a position I am currently occupying and totally qualified for. I asked for a salary bump of about 24K (I told you I had been screwed). I know this might seem greedy since some people make that much a year, but if I am going to make the move, then I am going to make it from a “sure thing to another sure thing” (to quote my dad). I do have it pretty good where I am at for now, so the pressure to get a new job is not as great as it would be if I were unemployed. So I have nothing but bargaining power and time on my side. Besides, everything I do is art (my mantra) and I am worth it, goddamnitthankyouverymuchhaveaniceday.

So I have the interview scheduled in the New Year. It will take up an entire afternoon with various people grilling me. Time for me to grow those big balls and strut around.

Dork Update

So if you go into the Archives section for March, and read the first entry entitled, “Case of the Muundays,” you will see where I was 9 months ago in terms of slacking at work. Since then, there has been more slacking and game playing, and there are a few updated stats.

Minesweeper times have improved (Beginner: 8 seconds, Intermediate: 52 seconds; and Expert: 180 seconds).

In FreeCell, I am at game #901. I skipped over game #865 because I just could not beat it. So if you or someone you know has beaten this particular game, email me and HELP!

On a side note, when I went to the old post to see what my old stats were, I noticed someone (“sonic the hedgehog”…great game btw) had commented just 8 days ago. Unfortunately, I do not have an “upgraded” HaloScan account (other perks of upgrading include having more comments displayed than the 200 or so cap), so I am not emailed if someone comments on any of my entries, old or new. If I had not written this “Dork Update” when I did, the comment from this person would have been lost and undiscovered by me forever. Looks like I will have to throw hard earned bucks HaloScan’s way. Bastards.

Confronting notions

Something that has always caught my attention is any male with nice handwriting. By nice, I mean just plain beautiful script that looks almost unreal because it is so perfect. You end up concentrating on the formation of letters as opposed to what the combined letters mean.

A lot of this intrigue stems from my stereotypes of males. I almost expect a male to have poor handwriting that can only be classified as, “chicken scratch.” The reason for this is mostly a social one in which males are not pushed to master the art of handwriting as they once were in say, Ancient days (e.g., scribes). Instead, males’ handwriting quality is overlooked unlike with females. Speculatory, yes. But there are subtle cues in society on how males and females should be which we are bombarded with since day one. Hence, it does not surprise me when a female has gorgeous handwriting, but it shocks me when a male does.

Moreover, I find that I rarely write anything by hand these days besides notes to myself. Not using my penmanship has definitely caused the quality to decrease significantly. It is one of those “use it or lose it” situations. But really, handwriting may be a moot notion in the future with the way technology and electronics are progressing. Both males and females might end up having shitty handwriting since it will be a lost “art.” Instead of learning how to write in the first grade, you would learn how to type. Let that percolate in your mind as it has in mine.

Outta my way! Raging bitch coming through…

Or rather, the worse case of PMS in my life! I don’t know what the fuck is up with my hormones lately, but it seems like the older I get, the worse my PMS and “visits from Aunt Flo” are. Either that, or I am turning mental and will need to be locked up and restrained in the near future. Damn those voices and obsessive thoughts…

So if you see me, do not make direct eye contact, and play dead when within a 30-foot radius. Shield your women and children from my wrath. Take cover in a nearby bomb shelter, or run as far away as your feeble limbs will carry you. Oh, and don’t ever look back.

On that note, Happy Holidays!

Office tales

OMG…someone in my office brought in the most delicious toffee I have ever had in my life from Lands' End.
If you don’t like toffee, then this might not be the best thing to try. But for anyone who even remotely likes toffee, then you have to try some. It literally melted in my mouth and was so amazingly good. So if you are lacking on gift ideas this holiday season, then look no further (I found a gift for myself since I have been so good and all). Who would have thought that a company known mostly for its clothing had an edible line.

We got our new business cards (after having been in the new office for about 3 months). It seems like such a waste of paper since the only thing that changed was our suite number. This time I only got one box (thankfully) instead of the three boxes I got when I started. I never use the cards for actual business correspondences. Instead, I give them out to family and friends and also use them as scrap paper.

The woman in the office next to me was wrapping gifts all day. There are just some sounds that are unmistakable when occurring together. I am glad we are at the end of the long hall, away from heavy foot traffic and watchful eyes. It allows me to get away with a lot. Did I mention I have a lock on my door too?

It’s my Man-Bag, baby

I don’t carry a purse because it is a way too girly thing for me to do. My policy is, “if it does not fit in my pockets, then I don’t need it.” [begin side rant] Speaking of pockets, why doesn’t women’s clothing have functional pockets??? I hate the little pockets in pants that barely fit a tube of lip balm, let alone keys. Don’t even get me started on suit jackets that have something that looks like a pocket, but really isn’t (I ended up tearing the thing open anyway and had a huge pocket that was really the lining area and therefore could potentially lose things in the back of the jacket). [end side rant]

Recently, MKD alerted me of a purse that I would actually consider sporting around…

It has brass (or silver) knuckles as the handle that can be popped off the top in case a serious beat down transpires. Functional, practical, and stylish. A girl like me could get used to this sort of thing.

Whoa, that’s like serendipitous or something

So I made a startling discovery today that I am really disturbed over. I went to my blog this morning and typed in the address on my computer at work. I typed in:
www.ifooljustasiam.blogpsot.com

All of a sudden, I get this “Mega site of Bible studies and information.” WTF! I immediately thought some bigot had messed with my site and basically wanted to fuck with me by throwing some religious bullshit up. Thinking it was a fluke, I closed out my browser and reopened it and typed in my blog addy again. This time, my blog came up and I was relieved. Then I noticed the slight difference in the first address I typed in…I had transposed the “s” and the “p” in “blogspot.” Who knew that such a small error could lead to where it did. More importantly, why is this religious site’s address what it is? Was "www.biblefanatics.com" taken? (It isn’t BTW…for now)

I have no idea what “blogpsot” is, so I decided to investigate. I typed in MKD’s blog, but put in “blogpsot” instead and the same Bible site came up! So fellow bloggers, please be alert of the “blogpsot” and make sure readers are being linked correctly to your blog and not this religious site.

P.S. I am not against organized religion; I am against corrupt people who run it and people who take it too far.
P.P.S. If this is old news, just take it and put it in your back pocket and never speak of it again.

Brief recap

Here are some of the highlights from my two days in a Federal building for the symposium…

The insane security

• Me: (approach the desk with attendants) May I ask a quick question?


• Desk Woman: You have to go through security first.


• Me: (looks incredulously at the security checkpoint 20 feet away) But I just want to ask a quick question to make sure I am in the right location (since I had been redirected previously).


• Desk Woman: You have to go through security first.


• Me: (loud and annoyed) I just want to ask a question!


• Backup: (Big, scary guard approaches with hand on gun)


• Me: (went though security so I could get my question answered)

The cafeteria

• Me: May I please have the chicken sandwich?


• Cafeteria Employee: (reaches hand in vat of yellow liquid pulling out a chicken breast and throws it on the grill). And you?


• My colleague: I’ll have a hamburger, please.


• Cafeteria Employee: (reaches hand in vat of brown liquid pulling out a patty and throws it on the grill)


• Me: (give my colleague a disgusted look and fear dysentery later)


• My Colleague: At least it is going on the grill.

The speakers

• Speaker 1: I’ve actually never looked at this before, but here are my thoughts on the matter.


• Speaker 2: …and that is why we should do [x,y, and z]. I still have yet to look at the it, but it should work.


• Speaker 3: (drones on and on trying to sound intelligent to cover the fact that he has nothing valuable to add)


• Me: (whispers) Why are 90% of the speakers talking about a subject they really have no clue about? I feel like they are saying a lot of stuff but really saying nothing at all.


• My Colleague: Fucking academics.

Who’d have thunk it?

I will be at a symposium for work on Thursday and Friday. It will be a change of pace, but I am not looking forward to lectures ALL day and commuting with the masses on the metro.

So since I will be MIA for the rest of the week and over the weekend, I leave you with excerpts (from an email forward, which are usually a hit or a miss for me) of things to ponder over, as I have spent many sleepless nights with shit like this clouding my brain.

• Can you cry under water?


• How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


• Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?


• Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


• Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.


• Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?


• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


• Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?


• Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?


• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

To briefly quell my absence…

Even though I do not care to travel to really far places, I found a reason to go to the Philippines…


They are called Tarsiers, and are believed to be the smallest primates in the world. I just can’t get over the HUGE eyes that accompany the cuteness.