Who’d have thunk it?

I will be at a symposium for work on Thursday and Friday. It will be a change of pace, but I am not looking forward to lectures ALL day and commuting with the masses on the metro.

So since I will be MIA for the rest of the week and over the weekend, I leave you with excerpts (from an email forward, which are usually a hit or a miss for me) of things to ponder over, as I have spent many sleepless nights with shit like this clouding my brain.

• Can you cry under water?


• How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


• Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?


• Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


• Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.


• Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?


• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


• Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?


• Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?


• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?