The rough road continues
At 28 weeks and 2 days, our twins Violet and Leo were born. They are in the NICU for a very long time and things are very difficult. We thought the pregnancy was bad, but this is much worse. I found this forum with a compilation of sentiments that hit the nail on the head for me.
- Thank you for the congratulations but please don't pretend that everything is wonderful right now and I should be a glowing new mother.
- Don’t tell me how it’s ‘no big deal’ and everything will be fine because people have preemies all the time and they are just fine.
- Please don't tell me how you know of this other preemie who's now 18 and 6 feet tall and completely healthy.
- Please don't compare my baby to other preemies you have known. Maybe I'm the only one but even the positive stories bugged me because I wasn't sure my son was going to be one of them.
- Don't tell me how lucky I was to have my babies at the hospital so I could recover and catch up on sleep. There is nothing more in this world I wanted then to have my babies with me at all times. There is absolutely nothing 'lucky' about having babies in the hospital.
- Please don't continually ask me when my baby will be coming home. I have no idea.
- Please let me know if you are sick. If I get sick, I can't see my baby, so I don't want to risk it. If you are sick at all, please do not come and see my baby.
- Don't pester me to see photos of my baby in the NICU. She is naked and in pain and it hurts her dignity to be stared at and gawked over.
- Please don't ask questions I can’t answer, like will my baby ever be "normal."
- Don’t give me a hard time because I didn’t tell you details about whatever was happening. It was hard enough for me to understand and discuss with my DH.
- Don’t keep pestering me for answers. Don’t say- But you said she was doing good. Guess what, that all can change in a second which is why they call it an emotional roller coaster.
- Don't ask me what I need. I don't know what I need.