Thursday, August 31, 2006

Play that jingle one more time, Mister DJ

An ode MKD and I have been singing to each other…

Happy peanut song
Over chocolate covered mountain tops
And waterfalls of caramel
Prancing nougat in the meadow
Sings a song of satisfaction
To the world

The world…

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The devil represent

I noticed that my counter is getting dangerously close to “6666.” Is that like a mutant devil or some extra growth? Who knows the significance, but I think that lucky visitor should note him or herself and be proud.

Note: my counter is set to track ‘unique’ visitors, not how many times someone can click on the ‘Refresh’ button to make their stats seem higher. Cheaters.

Since we're on the topic of "666," do you know what "6669" stands for?
[The devil doing the 69.]

What does "6.9" stand for?
[A 69 interrupted by a period.]

Ha! Those are just a couple of jokes to entertain your family, friends, and co-workers. I'm here all week! But rest assured, I am not quitting my day job.

Monday, August 21, 2006

I made a funny

The other day I thought of a funny palindrome. Well, at least funny to me:

No parts strap on
Strap on no parts

Heh. I will let you speculate as to how I came up with that one.

Thursday, August 03, 2006


A trip to the grocery store the other night began with seeing this:

Heh. ‘Home Goo’…I love it when certain bulbs in signs go out.

Anywho…typical grocery routine and then went to check out. I made a beeline for the shortest line which had a very large (wide-large not tall-large) cashier. After putting everything on the conveyor belt, I saw the sign, “Trainee.” Crap. No wonder the line was suspiciously short.

“Aw, fuck,” I mumbled.

I then reasoned with myself that everyone deserves a chance and that she probably will be the next employee of the month or some shit like that. Besides, the guy in front of me seemed to not have any problems and the transaction was going smoothly for him.

But lo and behold, the bitch must’ve gotten tired when it got to my turn (I already mentioned the large nature, yes?) because she literally threw all my shit into the weak plastic bags to the point where the handles are useless because it was filled beyond capacity.

I didn’t say anything because I know what it’s like to work in that environment and know that if one customer ticks you off it ruins your whole shift. So I bit my tongue and maintained my polite demeanor.

So the moral of this rant: Optimism will lead you to broken eggs.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Oh, how I love mammimals!

These pictures were sent in an email forward (subject: Overdose Victims) which then caused my insides to melt and triggered an overwhelming desire to cuddle with something furry and squeeze it to death.


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