Friday, July 25, 2008


Generally, I don’t have time to read for pleasure at home. Or perhaps, I just don’t make the time as things that require less thinking, like watching tv, usually win.

At work is a different story. I am in front of a computer all day and get tired of reading work stuff and would rather read stuff I want to read. So given my track record at home, reading therefore takes place at work. But I cannot have my nose in a book when I am supposed to be “working.” So I turned to the wonders of the Internet and found sites such as this one that allow me to read a little everyday and eventually complete books for free. Without these sites, I don’t think I would have finished a book this year.

I recently finished Dracula and Gulliver’s Travels and enjoyed them both. So I stopped in at a local used bookstore to find copies for our library at home. I was able to find the former for $1 and the latter for $2. They were both in good condition in spite of being printed more than a quarter century ago. Happy with my find, I made my way through the maze of bookshelves and stumbled upon this:

Um, somebody lost their pants in the Sci-Fi section.

So if you are looking for your pants, you left them at the used bookstore. Duh.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Stick a fork in me

After the fifth monitoring appointment, I have about 20 follicles in which most of them are over a centimeter big. My estrogen level is up to about 950 and needs to be at around 1500 before I can do my hCG Trigger shot. Then I go under, which will be my first time ever and I am kinda nervous about, for the egg retrieval.

Depending on how well the fertilized eggs develop will influence when the transfer to MKD will take place. Also, we will decide on how many embryos to use. If they are in great shape, we only need one because if we did two, we would have a very high chance of fraternal twins. If they are not ideal, we might consider using two embryos to increase the odds of a pregnancy. But the chance of fraternal twins is at 20%. Then there is always the possibility (albeit small) that one of the embryos will split on its own and yield identical twins. Anything more than two babies would just be WAY too much.

I think we could swing two though if it came down to it. When we first began this process, I was very anti-twins. But now that we are on the final stretch, I just can’t see us going through this process again and again. So I am preparing for the possibility of twins and am now feeling that it’s not so bad. We can get child-rearing done in one swoop. Two kids are all we wanted, so that would be it for us. The perfect twin situation would be a boy and a girl.

Speaking of twins, I was telling MKD how I think a lot of celebrities are manipulating their pregnancies to yield twins as there seems to be a really high prevalence lately. Twins are not usually a common occurrence, yet celebrities such as Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Lopez, Julia Roberts, and many others have popped out twins recently. Strange.

Redirecting back to me…

My stomach is particularly hurt-y today. I find walking is difficult because the seemingly nominal force from my foot hitting the ground sends shockwaves up my leg and resonates in my abdomen causing wretched pain. The list of ailments continue to grow. That and the list of things that MKD and I can hold over this kid’s head.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Needles and Syringes and Shots, Oh MY!

The injections, oh the injections! Our bedroom looks like a few hundred addicts shoot up in our room as there is an abundance of needles, syringes, vials, etc. But MKD and I have become quite proficient at administering both subcutaneous (SQ) and intramuscular (IM) injections.

The SQ needles are close to an inch long and are pushed all the way in. Prior to our injections, neither of us knew that the needle has to go ALL THE WAY IN until you hit the bottom of the syringe. These injections go right under the bellybutton area in which you pinch an inch before plunging.

I am on Day 11 of Lupron, which is administered in the morning, every morning. The actual needle going in my stomach feels like a sharp pinch, just like when you get blood taken. Once the needle is removed, there is a slight throbbing pain, tingling sensation, as well as irritation/itching that lasts for about 10 minutes after the shot. It hurts too much to scratch, but I feel like I have to touch it in some way, so I hold a piece of gauze over it until the feeling in my abdomen returns to normal.

The Lupron shots are a dream compared to the Menopur and Gonal-F. These are administered in the evening, every night. It is a SQ injection, so everything is just like the Lupron, but the feeling is much, much different. I don’t know if it is because a considerable amount of liquid is injected all at once or if it is thicker or what. But these shots HURT. Day 1 was okay. But every day since Day 1 has been agonizing and I cried like a baby. Again, the actual needle going in is fine. But it takes a decent amount of time to inject the medication in which every millisecond signifies increasing pain. The best way to describe it is that it feels like acid eating away at me from the inside along with a knife twisting in my belly from the outside. Totally not awesome.

Then there are the side effects. Out of the ginormous list of possible ones, I have had bad headaches every day (some are borderline migraines), decreased appetite (losing weight means not being able to pinch an inch for SQ shots), bloating (haven’t been buttoning my pants for over a week now), bruising/tenderness from my stomach serving as a pin cushion (again, pants are unbuttoned and thankfully no one has really noticed as my shirts adequately cover it), hot flashes (menopause, here I come!), trouble sleeping/waking (tired and awake at the wrong times), nausea (not cool due to phobia), diarrhea (fun!), can cry on cue (I should go into acting for a bit), an extremely short temper (talk about RAGE!), and incredible bitchiness (everything pisses me off and I will let you know that your mere existence is wrong).

Oh and we have to each take prenatal vitamins everyday as well. These pills are fucking huge. Even though there is a sweet-smelling vanilla coating on the outside, the inside is chock full of bluish-purple grittiness that tastes like bitter ass. I have been cutting mine in two and swallowing each half with the occasional one causing pain/stuck-in-throat/OMG get this pill down. MKD has been crushing hers up and eating it mixed in applesauce. She tried putting it in a vanilla milkshake once and that was just plain bad.

MKD had to do Lupron everyday for over a week, and now she is mostly on IM shots every few days (DelEstrogen). Soon, she’ll have to do IM shots every single day for THREE months. My shots are more frequent and plentiful right now, but only until my egg retrieval (which takes place after my Trigger IM shot). MKD will have to endure shots for a waaaay longer period of time. And these IM shots are a lot worse than the SQ ones. The IM uses a needle about 2 inches long. It goes all the way in your lower back area and you spread the skin taught before delving down. Plus, the medication is a lot thicker and takes a lot longer. A major one for her will be Progesterone in Oil. Yup…Oil. I have to heat her skin up before sticking that one in to help facilitate the process.

All this to get ONE try to get pregnant. We’re all paid up for 6 total tries in the Shared Risk program, but after all the injections to date, I think we’ll only do 2-3 before seeking alternative ways to get a baby.

I’ve lost count of the number of visits we have had with the doctors monitoring our progress. I have had blood work (more needles!) and ultrasounds every couple of days. So far, my ovaries are highly active and I have a greater number of follicles than average, times three. As a result, I am at a high risk for Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS). Joy! The one time in my life where overachievement is not a good thing.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Once in a Lifetime

I recently learned of this dream opportunity. For about $5K you can drive a Ferrari, Lamborghini, Aston Martin, Mercedes, and a Porsche. Not just one car, but ALL OF THEM. You can drive them as fast as you want on a racetrack all day long. Of course there are other perks added to the package which make it seem like an even better deal. For me, the Lamborghini has been my favorite car since childhood, so getting to drive the other cars are just bonuses. Oh and they are all automatic, so I don’t have to learn how to drive stick! Another bonus!

Sigh…if it weren’t for other financial/life obligations, my ass would totally be doing this. Alas, no Super Car Fun Day for me. For now. Or for as long as I can keep my boy brain in check.
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