Vices

As of today, I am no longer going to consume ANY caffeine or candy.

Since I don’t smoke, drink, or do drugs anymore, I had to look at the next best thing of stuff I “do” and take into my body. Caffeine and candy may be lame, but they are substances I use everyday and are not necessary for my survival.

I have given up caffeine before, so I know it can be done. I was caffeine free for almost two years. Withdrawal was not fun. But once I got my body adjusted, I felt better, went to sleep easier, and actually had dreams I could remember! I am not a coffee drinker, but tea and soda are my weak points. I am going to dread the workweek as I tend to stay up a little too late always (another problem/nasty habit).

I have never given up candy, so I have no idea how it will be. The sweet tooth is something I have had for as long as I can remember. No more chocolate, caramel, chewy Sprees, Swedish fish (red ones only), toffee, Junior Mints, Twizzlers, M&Ms…

This is gonna be tough.

Sadly, this decision was made at 1:07 p.m. today and was not inaugurated by the “last” taste of anything. The last caffeinated beverage I had was a Pepsi at lunch yesterday, and the last piece of candy I had was some chocolate coins and Reese’s after dinner last night.

Groan.

My reasons for this decision can be summed up with the following clichés:

• Give and take


• Misery loves company


• Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today


• Actions speak louder than words


• ‘Til death do us part

I think I might need a helmet

Over the holiday weekend, I had to go to the hospital for a concussion. Backing up…

I was helping MKD clean her car while we were in MiddleOfNowhere, USA watching her parents’ house. I got up to put something back in the car and nailed the left temple of my head on the top corner of the passenger’s side car door. There is also the possibility that I walked into door as I do not remember the events completely. That being said, I am 94% sure I did not lose consciousness, but I did cut my head and there was some blood. What I don’t understand is why the metal door has such pointy points! They need to round those suckers off to prevent normally-not-so-klutzy people like me from hurting themselves.

I wasn’t initially going to go to the hospital, but there was lots of nausea, dizziness, and general bad foo. Not to mention many people telling me I needed to go. Several scare tactics later, we went.

This was only the second time in my life that I have gone to the ER. Luckily, in Small Town, America, waiting time was minimal. But there were scary sick people and I don’t like those.

After passing the usual tests, the next step was a CT scan to check for internal bleeding. I declined that after weighing the expenses with the likelihood I was going to die. MKD just had to keep a close watch on me for personality changes, blood draining from my nose/ears, death, etc. She woke me up several times during the night to make sure I didn’t slip into a coma and I knew who I was still.

Needless to say, several days later, my temple hurts like no other pain I have felt before. It hurts to blink. If I graze my finger over the area to swipe hair from my face, I yelp in pain. Damaging one of the most sensitive areas of my skull was quite a feat. If it had hit anywhere else like my forehead, I would have damaged the door as I have a freakishly hard head (literally and figuratively).

Stupid, stupid, stupid on my part. Or MKD’s car might be trying to kill me as there was no one around to actually see what happened and it has attacked me before. Anything is possible.

A bittersweet anniversary

Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary that I have been at my second “real world” job. The phrase, “It’s been a year,” has been going through my head with both shock and disgust. Some days are fine and others have me questioning what the hell I am doing with my professional career (I use that term very lightly).

But I have devised a formula utilizing my daily job satisfaction to predict how long I plan to stay at my current place of employment:
A good day = plus three more months; represented by :)
An okay day = plus one more month; represented by :\
A bad day = negative six months; represented by :(

So from the 1st of this month, we have:
:/ + :/ + :/ + :) + :( = 0.

Please note that the “good” day (Thursday, AKA the 4th symbol) was due to my boss being absent.

May the job hunt begin!