Please excuse this post...I need some way to deal

I was just notified that someone from my life has died. If that isn’t depressing enough, he died from a drug overdose—a habit no one could seem to get him to stop. So I guess you could say it is not very shocking that it happened this way. Right now, there is a lot of guilt for not doing something more. Not being there more. Not caring more. Too little too late, I guess.

I was just telling MKD a few days ago that I have been very fortunate to have not lost anyone close to me to death. Any relative that has passed on, had passed on before I was born, sparing me from the pain. But I knew it would happen one day. One day, someone close to me would die, and I would experience for the first time a loss that can never be replaced. I cannot help but think I jinxed myself and those around me.

The funeral is this Friday in which I will see a lot of friends from my childhood. People whom I grew up with and have known for over 20 years.

I will miss you, Paul. You were always so sweet to me even after I broke your heart, and I never thanked you for that. You always looked out for me and protected me in any way you could against the evil Russian. You could always make me laugh with your quirky antics. I will miss you and your free spirit. Please be at peace.

Addiction brewing

A co-worker provided me with a link to an addictive game.

It may take a while to load, but when it does, you will be frustrated and determined to beat my score. I had to beat his high score because I am really competitive and hate to fail or lose. He got 26.25 seconds as his personal best, and I managed to pull off 27.125 seconds, because I rule like that.

So give it a try. If you beat my current high score, it will only fan the flames of my wrath to kick your ass and prove myself supremely awesome. I will give you a little hint…there is a pattern to it. Learn the pattern and save yourself some heart palpitations.

You have been warned and challenged. Go to it.

Highlights

As many of you already know, MKD had all four of her wisdom teeth taken out last Thursday. Since I am such a wonderful girlfriend, I took off Thursday and Friday to stay home with her and nurse her back to health over the weekend. Here are some highlights from my experience:

• After taking her first pain pill, MKD told me she was going to work the next day. I knew it was the drugs talking, so I gleefully waited for the delusions to wear off.


• I found out (after almost five years of being together) that MKD speaks Klingon. Perhaps I am not the biggest dork/geek/nerd in this relationship.


• MKD told me to “fuck off” and then yelled at me for leaving her alone…all in the same minute.


• When spraying tooth sockets clean with salt water, be sure to wear eye protection.


• Nothing says, “I love you,” like removing bloody gauze from the depths of your lover’s mouth after they had not brushed their teeth for over 24 hours.

crap

The Internet is being so slow. I hate that. Did some freak out there create another worm? I cannot stand how many viruses/worms/problems exist and that people actually took the time to create them. Do something useful with your ‘talents’ instead of pissing off people and making life more stressful than it already is. Or is this crawling due to high traffic volume? Whatever it is, it is making me agitated.

I think all this frustration results from the fast-paced, multi-tasking world we live in. We want it now and we want it perfect. As time goes on, I do not think ADHD will be a valid psychiatric diagnosis since we are simply adapting to our environment.

As I am writing this, I am reading other blogs and commenting, doing work, navigating between three websites, and about to start a game. Either the Internet is really crawling, or I am super amazing. I vote for the latter.

Update: the Internet is functioning more quickly and I have to scale back on the tasks at hand. I will have to retract my original vote. Damn.