Inconceivable!

Since Valentine’s Day, MKD and I have been putting in massive amounts of man hours into the new place. The past two weeks have been a blur and I can honestly say there has been no free time. It makes me wonder what the hell we used to do with all our time prior to the house-buying experience.

Needless to say, we are exhausted. Mentally drained from our jobs, and physically drained from fixing up our place. Then there’s drainage from money flying out of our wallets at the speed of light, the never ending “To Do” list, and wedding planning. Plus, my brain is trying to recover and catch up from taking in loads of new information with financial lingo like “escrow,” “earnest money,” and “verifiable liquid assets,” and home improvement techniques like spackling, caulking, and painting. Prior to all of this, I had very little experience with large financial matters and handyman skills. So the past two weeks have been crash courses.

But I would like to mention that my dyke status has been bumped up a notch after utilizing my power drill and other various man tools. After ripping up nasty old carpet, there are no more squeaky floorboards, raised nails, or old tacks/staples in the master bedroom. The floor is ready for the new carpet to be installed today. Oh, and why is carpet so expensive?! You need to sell a kidney to afford that shit.

Anyway, thanks to all that have been able to come over and help for the past two weekends. MKD and I greatly appreciated it and are thankful for such wonderful friends. Plus, I would like to send out a special thanks to the Pirates who braved the winter storm and safely navigated us to get supplies and food. If it weren’t for the chains on their tires, I do not think our car would have left the parking lot.

Next on the agenda, moving! Movers come tomorrow. We have packed about 1/8th of our apartment. Holy fuck. Lots of packing to do tonight…

Never a dull moment. Cue violin. I hate moving.

Like a virgin

All throughout my academic career, I have never given a lecture. Sure, there have been presentations, but never lectures. For me, a lecture is leading a class, and a presentation is more like delivering a speech. There is a fine line in the differences, but they are different nonetheless. To me, a lecture is like a presentation on steroids.

So here I am with less than a week to prepare. The opportunity was sprung up on me only a few days ago so I have to scramble to meet my deadline. I do not want to disclose the topic since I might have the [mis]fortune of having a student that will be in the lecture who reads my blog. But I will let you know that I will be lecturing at the place where I went to graduate school.

A big fear now is that the students will know more than me and I will look like a blundering ass. Another one is that they can smell fear and are not overtly sympathetic. These fears and others are compounded since I am not an expert on the topic and will be researching everything to put something together.

Extra money is nice, but I don’t know if it is worth the stress and anxiety. I have fragile nerves.

Instant Gratification

I believe that technology and the “Internets” (hehe) have led us to become conditioned to instant gratification. If our whims are not fulfilled in 0.23 seconds, we become pissy and complain about all the things wrong with this world and our lives. After all, it is so tragic.

Being in this mindset, searching for movers has not served my instant gratification needs. I started by trying to find the lowest quote expecting an immediate estimate online. Didn’t happen. Instead, I had to deal with moving companies calling me every half hour in addition to bombarding me with emails to call them. If I wanted personal contact, I would have used something called The Phone Book. I just wanted hard numbers to crunch and compare and all the fine print laid out succinctly so I could then move on to consulting the Better Business Bureau and other consumer reports. But instead, I have to deal with each individually, and when I let one down, I have to hold their hand through the break-up process…

Rejected Mover: “Waaa…Why didn’t you choose me?”
Disgruntled Me: “Because you just didn’t satisfy me in the way I need”
Rejected Mover: “But…but I can do so much better than those other guys!”
Disgruntled Me: (groans) (slaps forehead) “Sure…if you can complete my move for less than $300 and provide boxes for free, maybe we can continue this further.”
Rejected Mover: “Oh. (long pause) I see. Well…good luck then!”

Bah! Don’t advertise on the Internet if you are not going to adhere to the instant gratification standards. “Free online estimates” are anything but.

Oh and on a side note, why the fuck are boxes so damn expensive???