Monday, February 11, 2008

Something I never talk about

is politics. I abhor the subject, yet I understand its necessity and role and why people are so obsessed with it. But like dating Asians, I have a block. A mental block that stems from my childhood. With both parents working “on the Hill,” politics were both inside the home and out with having to maintain a public appearance, schmoozing, phone lines being tapped, hearing about senator so and so, etc. A kid just wants to be a kid so the brain does something similar to when a traumatic event happens…it withdraws and blocks. I am sure it is plausible that my brain could have done the complete opposite and I would know the ins and outs of the federal government by the age of 10. But it didn’t and makes me who I am today.

So yes, I cringe when politics come up in group conversations and contribute little to them. I am clueless when some random old white dude is in the news about some new scandal (for the record, just as some white people feel all Asians look alike, old white dudes are pretty hard to distinguish from our “slanty” eyes and, yes, we do have them open). I can fake it when I have to, but I’d rather not. In the realm of politics, I am dumb. This is considered a crime living in the DC area. Our politicians are the equivalent of celebrities and I couldn't care less.

In the past, I only cared about elections when it meant my parents would have more job opportunities. But this election has struck a chord with me as it aroused an old memory. In my cultural psychology class in college, discussions about the president came up and I posed the question, “What will happen first in the U.S.: a black male or a white female president?” Both are minorities in the houses of power. Everyone said hands down, a black male president. When asked why, I received answers such as “a woman and her PMS would lead the country to spontaneous wars” and “she would cry/be too emotional to be able to make tough decisions.” There were other sexist remarks as well but no racial ones. Logically, this means that either racism is being erased (yeah, right!) or sexism is more acceptable.

Being a woman and a minority is like a double whammy. Oh and did I mention I’m gay? So yeah, “triple threat” in a bad way. Politically, I fall in with the Democrats, but I do have some conservative views regarding money. Sorry, McCain, I like you personally, but I could never stand behind the majority of your (or any) Republican beliefs.

The Democratic primaries are tomorrow and I have been hearing a lot of things about Hillary Clinton that have been unnerving me. The same sexist remarks back in class 9 years ago are reemerging today along with others like “she is gay” and other people (cough, men) who are willing to vote Republican just because they cannot stand BEHIND a woman. But to be fair, I have heard women say that they want a male president because when something bad happens they need a man who is strong to handle things and then give some analogy using their own marriage. Perpetual societal bullshit.

To me, both Clinton and Obama are equal in the things important to me and match (as best they can) for what I want out of a president. I do not doubt that either would run the country fine. I believe if either were not so stubborn, having the other as their running mate would make for a beautiful combination.

Given that, a choice needs to be made. A tie breaker so to speak. Hearing the sexist remarks and attitudes has swayed my hand. When any past (male) president has shed a tear, it was so “noble and heartfelt” and a good thing. If a woman was to be president and she shed ONE FUCKING TEAR, the nation would go ripshit that she wasn’t “strong enough” or she was too “emotional.” If she looks a bit haggard one day or gains a pound, then it must be PMS or water retention. Or god forbid, she gets pregnant! (but not likely given the age constraints). We all know that once a female displays her capabilities she is unable to play in the boys’ arena and can’t grow those balls back. Why must a woman in power be seen as a “bitch” and other “catty” terms? Just because sexist remarks are brushed off more easily than racist remarks does NOT make them okay.

Oh wait, that was probably too bitchy to say. I must know my place and hope you can forgive me. It must be that time of the month again.
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