Saturday, January 19, 2008

Work ate me

And shit me out and ate me again.

It’s been a helluva two work weeks and my soul is tired. I have accomplished yelling at people for their incompetence, been dubbed “Eagle Eyes,” and helped complete a major publication that has consumed over a year of my life.

Incidentally, this publication was standing in the way of my search for a new job. Let’s hope that 2008 brings new prosperity in the professional and familial realms.

Speaking of the latter, did I mention my left ovary has 20 follicles and my right one has 14? 34 follicles! I came out of the exam room and told MKD that I rocked that shit. I was very tempted to ask if I broke some kind of record as I was very proud of my ovaries. I guess for guys, a comparable illustration would be if they were told they had “strong swimmers” or a “high count.”

If you keep up with MKD, you will know that we bought a scale, which we have been using quite frequently. Not only do we know how much her tits weigh, but I discovered how much my poop weighs:
Weight before poop = 98.2 lbs.
Weight after poop = 97.6 lbs.
Poop = 0.6 lbs

It’s discoveries like these that make me thankful for the existence of sanitation. I am just one person. Times my poop by 300+ million people and you get a shitload (har, har) of poop in the U.S. daily.

Other than work and poop (those two go together well!), I am looking forward to finally getting some much needed R&R, which is one of the best things in the world. Add MKD and the mammimals, and I have an Instant Heaven.
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