Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Doctor’s Office

After a visit to the doctor, it turns out I have a 6 cm cyst inside of me. I have no idea how long it’s been in there, growing, feeding off me. The thought of it is disturbing and I hope it goes away on its own. Will find out more in a month when I am subjected to another vaginal sonogram. Fun.

Reason #547 why I hate being female.

I have been confirmed that I am not quite 5’ 2”…turns out I am 5 feet 1 ¾ inches. So it really rounds to 5’ 2” but MKD says no. I have to stretch my limbs to get that extra ¼ inch.

Reason #479 why I hate being short.

I am also not quite 100 lbs. Truth be told, I don’t think I have ever weighed more than 105 lbs. my whole life. I have always thought something was wrong with me because I can’t pack on weight no matter what I eat or do. But given my family’s size, race/ethnicity, and blood work, doctors have concluded that “some people are just meant to be small.”

Reason #312 why I hate being small.

We all have things that we would change about ourselves if we could. Interestingly enough, I discovered that I hate being female, short, and small in that order. But I have grown to accept these things about me as the cognitive dissonance with how I perceive myself in my head is slowly dissipating.
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