Friday, April 14, 2006

Assimilation is never enough

So when I was picking up MKD’s suppositories last week to help with her deathly illness, I had an encounter with someone I like to refer to as “The Good Intention Bigot.”

[Begin encounter with The Good Intention Bigot]

CVS Pharmacist: “What’s the last name?”

Me: “D----.” (to maintain anonymity, but it is a white name because MKD is the whitest among whites)

CVS Pharmacist: “First name?” (probably asked because last name is so white)

Me: “M----.”

The Good Intention Bigot (TGIB): “M----. That is an interesting name. Was it given to you at birth or did you change it to that when you got here?”

Me: “Um, neither. I am picking up a prescription for someone.”

TGIB: “Oh. What is your name then?”

Me: “------.”

TGIB: “That is a really beautiful name.” (had a quizzical look as if expecting something more Asian sounding) “I am always curious to hear what you foreigners change your names to when you come here.”

Me: “…” (speechless because I had been awake all night with MKD in the hospital and brain not functioning enough to rip him a new one)

[End encounter with The Good Intention Bigot]

Although harmless and well intentioned, TGIB really pissed me off. “Foreigner?” WTF?! How many generations do I have to have born in this country until I am no longer considered “foreign?” Is five enough? I don’t have an Asian accent at all since English is the only language I know fluently. I only look Asian or “foreign” as some would call it, but I am not “fresh off the boat” by any means. In fact, TGIB is more of a foreigner to this country than I am, genetically speaking. Asians are closely related to Native Americans (hence the similarity in features), and Native Americans are the only people that are not “foreigners” to this country. So fuck you, Mr. White Ass Fuck Piece of Shit Bigot. You live in a metropolitan area with lots of “foreigners” that will soon become the majority. You might want to hold your tongue and keep your racist thoughts and curiosities to yourself. But never mind, us “Orientals” are mild-mannered and can take this bullshit with our obedient demeanor.
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